Head, Held, High!

Head, Held, High? For the longest time I would allow people to take me for granted, not knowingly I may add.  I did not realise this until maybe my late twenties, some might say that is a long time for that kind of behaviour to go unnoticed, but I really had no idea I was subconsciously allowing this to happen to me.

Upon reflection, and I’m now talking about maybe from the age of four.  I know some maybe thinking (you can remember things from age four, I know my boyfriend does) and yes I can.  Mind you the older I get some of the memories are a little fuzzy now.  Throughout my childhood, I guess I never did walk with my head held high and you might think, as a child why would you.  What is going on in your childhood life, that you would need to have your head held high.

Well I say a “bloody lot”, because that is where shit really starts to happen and can actually make or break you, for your future adult self.  I wish I had someone to tell me to go out with my head held high.  But I guess the next best thing from my mother, Grand and Great Grandmother, was always choose your friends wisely.  And until this day I still hold true to those wise words (thank you Mothers)

In school I was never the cool kid or too kooky to be apart of the geek/nerd group.  I was literally like the UK TV show “The Inbetweeners” (side splitting funny by the way), so in-between is where I firmly stayed and to be honest I liked it there, because I could relate to both sides.  Even though I was in-between, I was lucky enough not to be bullied, because I was neither here or there.  There might have been one or two occasions where idiots tried their luck but quickly realised they WOULD be wasting their time.

Going back to head held high, even though I was not bullied, I’ve always had people take advantage. Advantage of MY kind and quiet nature.  Reflecting back on my life I can think of key moments like ;

Primary school – Age 4, being blamed for pouring too much fairy liquid in the classroom sink, therefore causing a lot of bubbles to overflow.  IT WAS NOT ME, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  And because of my quiet voice and the other children’s overbearing voices around, pointing at ME… naturally I got the blame.

Secondary school – 12/13 years old, what I thought was a friend was slowly recruiting me to be a door mat. Already being strong willed but still needing to find my voice. One day she took advantage and I said to myself enough IS enough.  So I quickly kicked her to the kerb in year 7 and for me that’s where she stayed.  Others thought I would cave in and like most children, thought we would be friends again by the end of the day.  Just like the sound on Family Fortunes (another UK TV show) Iterrr “our survey says, NO”  There was no way I would let that negativity back into my life, and so for the rest of the 5 years (felt like a jail term) I continued not being her friend.

Being an adult – In all my jobs people have taken the piss (a great UK term for annoyance)  again because of my kind, smiling face, yeah sure I can do it nature!

How cute is this kipling bag! Each monkey on the bag comes with a name, mines Davina.  Oddly that IS the name of the girl I decided, not to be friends with lmao.

I recently ended a job (don’t worry I secured another one, cos nobody got time for being broke).  A lot of shit happened in that job.  Unfair shit towards staff.  So when the time came to handing in my notice, the way the Director of the company had treated me was absolutely, unapologetic, unforgivably disgusting.  My point is, I gave the woman and her company the best of me for over a year, and she treated me like crap because, she heard I was leaving before I could get a chance to tell her…and so thought she could treat me like crap until I left.  But before leaving I kept true to myself and showed her no matter what negativity she thought she could dish out,  I was still going to be one of the best workers she had ever known, with my head held high.

Well I’m a strong believer in Karma (what goes around, comes back around)  No one should have to deal with negative Nancy’s but unfortunately we all do.  It’s how you deal with them and remember to always walk out or in with your HEAD, HELD, HIGH!

How do you deal with negativity? let me know in the comments below : )

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