FOMO aka Fear Of Missing Out, not that I want this blog to be a negative Nancy but FOMO now and again has got me triggered. I want this blog to be about things I like, hence the name Juanita Likes and try to keep it somewhat a positive vibe. But I would be lying to myself if I didn’t act human and also document once in a while, my inner destructive thoughts.
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Because I know there are others out there, that are in the same boat and need to feel they are not alone, in all this BS we call life. So I guess if I were to talk to a therapist we would start from the very beginning and begin at where it all kind of began. I guess you could say from my childhood or early years.
FOMO
In short FOMO is the Fear of Missing Out. It is a social anxiety, for example I believe my life is being wasted because I have not yet or may never experience, that vision of my 15 year old self future thoughts, on what I thought my life would be as of present day, age 37.
And that others that are experiencing these things have a better life than I do. Is this my own fault or am I the product of the fault in society, creating these steps in life for us to follow before we are even born? Either way as a result my mental health declines from 10 to -10, within a couple of hours and can last weeks if not months.
But I am going to start from my teenage years. My pass self is totally unaware, that the FOMO and confusion kicks in by my mid twenties. In my mid teens like some teenage girls, I would day dream my future into what it is, I think it would be. I actually and naively thought life was so simple and that everyone follows the same path into meeting the one then meeting the family, then getting married, having your own home and then having a family.
I thought all this would be mine at least before the age of 24, which at the age of 15 I thought was pretty standard and by that I mean old and got your shit together.
How wrong I was. If only I knew what I know now and experience day in and day out, like some black mirror episode. My life on which I have some part to play in, I guess according to the Law of Attraction and the universe, is not what I had imagined for myself. I’m living in a parallel universe to my dreams as that young naïve teenage girl, I am the Twilight Zone and the Twilight Zone is me.
So since starting my blog back in 2015 and taking a deep breath and plunge, into the world of social media to promote my blog post. I have been plagued into the FOMO. To be fair it is not just social media but merely just the innocence of others, just living their day to day lives. It almost seems everywhere I look, I see the life I hope I’d have, in the lives of others. Most of the time, I find myself suppressing my eternal pain as far as it can go.
Until it erupts into hot uncontrollable tears streaming down my face and my whole body is in aching pain, from my finger tips down to my toes. You could say actual heart break. And yes suicide has entered my thoughts on more than a couple of occasions. And yes from time to time it still enters. As a result my mental health or state of mind is somewhat unpredictable, regardless of what I portray online or at work. There is a part of me that is just empty and broken.
Stop The Feeling Of FOMO
For anyone suffering from fomo, As I have stated here, I am right with you. We can not control what others do but can control the measures we take, in order to feel better about our own lives and to aid towards a better state of mental health. Talking to others who may be going through the same or similar feeling, is always a good starting point, or simply just talking to yourself in the mirror or even writing your feelings down on paper, kind of like a diary. I’ve never done diaries. So this is it.
It is becoming more common to get counselling from a qualified Therapist. Before going that extra mile, seek help within yourself, if you can. I have thought of going for counselling myself, maybe in the future as it is a great relief of mental health stress, a problem halved and all that. Seeking counselling or therapy does not mean your mad, it just means you have identified a problem within your life and you would like some clarity, and a road to recovery.
On A Lighter Note
I am working towards fixing my broken heart, soul or whatever. You would think all that I have written I may be single but I am not, but have been in a 17… year relationship with my BF. I am not sure if it is me or us but I need to just get things right. And that means putting in the work, to make my 15 year old, pass self proud.
The relationship I am in is a happy and healthy one. Not a lot of people can say they have found their soul mate and best friend in their partner, so for that I am grateful to the universe for pairing us. We just need to be on the same page.
And would you believe it, he too could benefit from a therapist, as he too has issues blocking our true path together but that is some whole other post!
AND on an even better, lighter note. I have started reading a wonderful book “Counselling For Toads, A Phycological Adventure” available on Amazon. And if you are a fan of “Wind In The Willows”, a childhood classic and also available on Amazon. You’ll understand the characters BUT you don’t have to have read wind in the willows, to understand counselling for toads.
Counselling For Toads, is a stand alone story which follows a Toad…Er, Mr Toad adventure to a healthy mental state of mind. And the friends and Counsellor that help him to get there. The funniest part of this book is that my mum bought this for me more than ten years ago, because she thought I would be a great counsellor.
I read one chapter and put it down years ago and have only just decided to start reading it again. And thank goodness I did, because not only is it a great book but resonates with both of mine and my BF lives. On the account I have been reading him this book, and yes he can read lol, you could say we are both on the road to recovery to a great adventure.
Thank you for reading this very personal post
My last post
Do you ever worry about FOMO?
Natoya
x
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